just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
