In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize