This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Randomize
