apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
