dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Randomize
