I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
