Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
