watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
