That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
