Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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