eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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