Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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