CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
