I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
