She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
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