i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
