Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
