I think my vagina is haunted
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Randomize