Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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