So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
3pm strippers are depressing
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
