remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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