if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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