i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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