thus making me awesome and them whores
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
