I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
