here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
