when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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