Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
