ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
