she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I need a burrito and a hug.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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