You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
