If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize