I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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