if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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