I need help removing her.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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