guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
