I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
