nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
