yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
