Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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