He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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