I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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