Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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