How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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