i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
