Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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