i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
