Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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