I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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