How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
