Farmville is her only friend.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
