Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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