just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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