I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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