just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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