All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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