it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
