Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
My sheets look like a crime scene.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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