I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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