you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Randomize
