I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
