Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
