i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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