wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize