Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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