Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
