from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize