bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
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