just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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