chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
