I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
