We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize