so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize