hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
