i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
