If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
