im six kinds of drunk right now
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
You made out with two different species that night
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
