do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
