I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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