Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
