Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
