how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
