By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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