I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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