Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
