Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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