We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Randomize
